A friend of Bill's once told me......

I'm back from an awesome three days in Fort Bragg & the Mendocino coast, camping with my spiritual brother Gabby, and truly getting in touch with what it means to be 57, aware of life on it's terms for the first time in my life, and truly content with it all. That, and a profound awareness that God is good, has an incredible sense of humor as he shows me love and irony in all its forms (and I get to realize it instead of being oblivious to it).....

I am so blessed. I have my health, my sons, my sister, friends, and an unknown quantity of folks who just seem to reach out to me, support me, be there for me and bless me, even when I don't ask for it. Recently, I have learned to be "aware" - today, I am SO conscious of SO many things simultaneously, things which stand alone with their own merits, yet somehow are interwoven into an amazing tapestry of goodness and righteousness that in combination are simply incredible. This is where God's sense of humor shows itself - for its really been there all along, and he chooses to reveal it to me in doses I can swallow and process, putting an amazing set of grins and giggles into my system, smiles on my face, and joy in my heart.

A world and seemingly a lifetime ago, I was adrift in a sea of medication which prevented so much of this joy from taking place. But no matter, for I am grateful to have found stability and instead of rejecting it, living and loving in it. Sure, life's roller coaster can present challenges, negative issues, fear and grief - but I have learned that "this, too, shall pass" - just like my grins & giggles, smiles & joy. But I sure do relish my glass being way more than half full, and am learning to choose to focus on the many blessing and goodness present in my life, and not focus on the other non-positives. Now if I can carry that message to others, my desire for service can also be satisfied - for that desire is currently unfulfilled.

So much of my life has been spent singularly focused on "me", fueling my pride and ego with self-serving elements which brought nothing but momentary satisfaction, and long-term addiction to self. Finally, the adage of the old dog learning new tricks can be realized, as I've learned to stop the insanity, turn my life over to God, admit my powerlessness, and simply trust that HE has a plan, will show it when HE thinks the time is right, and trust that I will know exactly what to do with it. Once I began to operate in that mode a few months ago, my life started turning out so much better - or, at least, I fully feel like I'm moving in the 'right' direction. I wake each day in prayer and thankfulness, end each day with serenity, and in between, simply take it all as it comes.....dang, how free I feel as a result.

So...why write about introspective elements of negativity and fears and realities, when instead I can author perspective on the good that is in abundance? OK, so call me Pollyanna, or Dorothy of Kansas via Oz, or whatever - I choose to call me a friend of Bill - what I hope will be a friendship for life.