8-1-09 - Days 5 and 6 - Cabo & Cruisin' Home

6th day at sea, and all is still well………..left Mazatlan with all on board. Seems they made it with plenty of time to spare, just went to bar and relived their day over drinks, then joined me and the boys at dinner, which went just fine. Any concerns I had evaporated quickly, as I simply thanked God for all the blessings and the cruise continue...

Yesterday, we woke up in Cabo San Lucas. All of our group went ashore around 10am or so, splitting separately into two major groups, but within each, plenty of individual and mini-group activities. The ship was docked in the harbor, the sun shining brightly as tenders took us to the docks where the cruise ships have their "bark" stations (disembark/embark). As we left the ship, Cori gave us recounts of her last visit here with my mom, pointing out the places they went. Some in our group went on a tour, some went parasailing, some went shopping. Cori, the boys and I arrived at the docks, walked along to an info booth, and asked about the best way to get to "The Office", where we had a planned rendezvous with others in our group.




We walked along the docks, found the water taxi guys, hoped aboard for $3 each, and were shuttled across the harbor to a great beach, full of multiple restaurants and markets.



The Office was the one with the blue umbrellas, under which were tables & chairs in the sand, about 20' from the water. We hopped off the taxi, onto the sand, immediately spotted another family from our group, and made our way under the umbrellas, commandeering a few tables. The umbrellas were closely packed in together, forming an almost awning of shade, absolutely necessary given the bright sunshine and heat (90+). Dropped our stuff onto chairs, secured the straps of our backpacks to the chairs to prevent theft, and arranged with the other parents to always have someone present at the table to watch belongings.

Mass of humanity all around; families, adults, kids, and a ton of vendors hawking whatever along the beach. But the vendors could not enter under the umbrellas of tourist safe haven, thanks to the presence of police right at the edge of the sunshine & umbrellas. Very cool arrangement, I must say. The kids were itching for the water, and so were we, so off we went.

Beautiful water, mild surf and undertoe. Could walk out about 10-15 feet before being unable to stand, and all within a buoy'ed area of safe harbor. Kids loved rolling with waves, letting the current take them out and bring them back again over and over again (especially Justin). Eventually, we had about 15 of our group all in the water together.

Early on in this experience, I realized fully the blessing of the moment, simply raised my hands to the skies, closed my eyes with my head pointed upward, and gave thanks to God for all of this trip, and for this moment. My inner peace was amazing, my calm surprising, my anxieties and fears gone, and I praised Him for this feeling. My praise was continuous for the rest of the day, acknowledging his presence in my life, and the sole reason for this wonderful feeling I was having. I held my new silver crucifix around my neck, closing my eyes. My commune with God was surprising, yet not at all; uncommonly fulfilling, yet not really, for I have felt this way previously, but never appreciated the "why" for all of it. Not today, not again. I believe I have crossed easily but squarely into new ground in this respect. Smiling, almost to the point of laughter, I came out of the euphoric moment, and back to keeping a watchful eye on the kids in the water, not just mine, but all of them.

Off an on over the next 2-3 hours, went back up under the umbrellas for respites from the sunshine, food and sodas, and conversation. Nice to be part of the group, nice to have genuine friendships with both adults and kids; adults freely engaging in back-and-forth conversations and questions on life, happiness, et al. Kids asking pretty darn adult-like questions, not to mention the questions re: Mexico, customs, and more. Just very cool being in my own skin, happy with my adultness, not at all concerned about image or correctness, yet being happy about being fully in the moment, completely present mentally & emotionally.

(Hope you can see the name on this water taxi - significant, to say the least!

We were due back on the boat by 2pm, so around 1 or so, Cori left with the others to hit some shopping areas. I let the boys swim a bit more, then got our stuff together, found a water taxi ($2 each for trip back), and returned to the docks. Go into a lengthy line for the tenders (another cruise ship in harbor on the same day), and while in line, rest of the group (including Cori) joined back up with us. I was relieved to not wonder or worry about her or others, immediately thanked God for that. Dang, I realize how fundamentally I've changed in that regard, recognizing his presence in my life, and realizing my ignorance previously in that regard. No matter or worries going forward; I again fingered my crucifix, which I believe I will be doing more and more of the rest of my days unfold.

Back on board, we went straight to our room to shower, for the sand was everywhere under our suits and in our hair. Kids first, them Cori, then me. When I got out, kids were gone, and Cori and I had some private, quiet time - and took advantage of it to communicate with seriousness for the first time this week. I did a bit of talking, but really just listened to a lot of "stuff" except for responding to questions when asked. She then left, and I fell asleep for almost two hours, awakening when she came back to get ready for dinner - the 2nd formal night.

I'd forgotten my tuxedo jewelry (cufflinks & shirt button), so instead just put on a shirt, tie, slacks and sportcoat, which was just fine. Dinner was awesome, as we all shared the days events, universally agreeing that Cabo is one place we could easily come back to and stay for an extended period. We all agreed to let Carnival know that there was simply not enough time in Cabo, and that they should adjust schedules in the future.

The dinner concluded with a 50th birthday song for Lily, who organized this trip, and then a dance by staff, who chose to put Justin & Anthony up for all to see as well. I've got videos of the boys to along with a few pix.

For me, Cabo was somewhat like Waikiki; party atmosphere, but a sense of safety in the midst of chaos and insanity. I think I could come back here for 3-4 or even 7 days, checking out all that is local, and being happy doing so. With or without kids. Just that kind of place.

After dinner, went to a bar with most other adults. For the first time this trip, I relaxed enough while others drank and I did not, happy with my club soda. Ian broke out a pack of Cuban cigars, and the men all partook; even some of the women tried 'em. Not something I do often by any respect, but it was fun sitting back and being happy with myself, comfortable in this environment of adults and alcohol, and grateful to have beside me another non-drinker, taking quiet solace and strength in that similarity. Took 5 nights for me to get there, but at least I got there, instead of avoiding it at all times.

Around 10pm, as adults were headed to a comedy show, I offered to round up all the kids (who had been in the video arcade all this time after dinner), and get them all to their rooms for the evening. Now THAT was a nice situation; I had seven boys (ages 8 to 12), and I didn't lead them troop-style, but definitely was the authority figure that was needed. We left the arcade, headed to the Lido deck for ice cream, and along the way, observed them checking out the young ladies which seemed to be in abundance. I watched and listened, not just my two sons, but all the boys, and relived the boys-will-be-boys realities of discovery. We then sat together, and I imparted whatever "wisdoms" (and I use that term very loosely) I could re: what to say and not say when encountering the opposite sex. What was surprising was that Justin and Anthony, the two youngest, seemed to be the most comfortable with "being themselves", while the older boys had the desire to be something else entirely. Pretty funny to be part of, and again, I am grateful for the experience.

Got them all back to our cabin around 10:45, setting an 11:15 curfew, and they turned on TV (cartoons). One by one, they all left for their own cabins over the next ½ hour, and I just assume they all got there safely and appropriately. On cue, Cori came in around 11:15, just as the last two were leaving, and we all settled in for sleep. I sat up and read until about midnight, ending with a smile and prayer of thanks for a GREAT day.

We are at sea this morning (Saturday, 8/1/09), up in knots as we speed back to Long Beach, and should be in port as we awake tomorrow. Only plan for today is an 11am debarkation meeting (how to get off the ship) - otherwise, today is a free and easy day. My mindset and emotional well-being is somewhere very, very special this morning. My reality of being unemployed, separated, and in recovery is completely overshadowed by a sense of inner peace, harmony with God, and a sense of "upward mobility" - that I can and will be just fine, no matter what, and will continue to get right and healthy and be happy. My glass is way more than half-full, indeed….

I have started to think seriously about areas of my life that need attention and elements of goal-setting - like my weight and aspects of my health, my family, and my career. Yet, the goal setting and project planning strategies and tactics of my past is not what I will be doing from here on - it will be something totally different, very much living in the present and appreciating all that is now, rather than focused on all that is yet to do, yet to come, and yet to be done. I attribute much of this new approach to the book I am just about finished reading - In a Million Pieces, which has really inspired me in a few different ways. Mostly, I'm encouraged at just having survived through all of this life to this point, having weathered the storms and potholes rather well, given my current day perspective. I am motivated to continue in the same way I have these past 4+ months, and want continue this education, self-discovery, and self-improvement, yet not in an accelerated fashion, but in whatever God decides is right for me. For certain, I will add a new element to my knowledge, as I now want to read the Tao, referred to frequently in Million Pieces……….quoting but one pearl of wisdom:

#22: If you want to be whole, you must first be partial. If you want to be straight, you must first be crooked. If you want to be full, you must first become empty. If you want to be reborn, you must first die. If you want everything, you must first give everything up. If you don't display yourself, people will see your lift. If you have nothing to prove, people will trust you. If you don't try to be something, people will see themselves in you. If you don't have a goal, you will always succeed.